🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into preserved goods and firearms.” This nugget of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, talking, spectacled member of the oozy monster mob that swarms Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. But, in a strange manner, it’s also surprisingly sturdy life guidance. Honestly, hear me out.

When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Actually, most of the toothy monsters that occupy Dante’s wild 1990 film (possibly his finest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the blurry line separating daily routine and unadulterated chaos. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the theme that resonates the most.

A Youthful Obsession

Of course, my connection with this movie didn’t start on such an philosophical plane. In my youth, we were limited to a few battered VHS tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case likely purchased from an independent video outlet and boasting grimacing beasts on its knackered cover. I was immediately enamoured and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. Henceforth, they became an practically routine part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s initial installment commonly garners all the praise, thanks largely to its reputation as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its sequel rarely gets the same level of high regard, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d retreat into the house and stick it on. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. With repetition, it ingrained itself in my mindset. If my parents noticed this obsession, they didn’t seem to mind.

Hidden Discoveries and Pop-Culture Easter Eggs

As I got older, new revelations rewarded multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching small emerald creatures gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his second wife Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was modeled after a actual “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film alternate cuts of a meta sequence where Gremlins hijack the actual feature in progress. A version for theaters, another for home video and television, each providing a grinning portion of self-referential entertainment sorcery before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Influence

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure maintained my fascination as an adult. In time, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This anarchic rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only made me love it even more.

When I endured a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe not. The comforting familiarity it furnished was needed to dilute my mind’s mourning mire – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to be like them: embrace the chaos, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.