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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?